My friend Joyce in Houston commented the one major issue people complain about is loneliness. All single people have this in common. Getting married changes your loneliness to togetherness, if you marry the right person. I attended my first Chinese wedding with my boss and her husband. The groom was his cousin.

The wedding was in Yixing at the local Howard Johnson Motel in the grand ballroom. It was a festive luncheon attended by all the family and closest friends. The bride dressed in a lovely white gown entered with her dad and walked a long catwalk to meet her husband at the end holding her bouquet. An emcee narrated the event with the mayor making a long speech. The parents came to the stage and the couple bowed and spoke to them then turned to the audience in tears. A giant helium dirigible with “I LOVE YOU” in red floated over our heads toward the groom. A red scroll unrolled to reveal a box with the rings. They exchanged rings. They poured neon water into a tube that spelled LOVE and alias they were married. A lovely lunch, gifts for all, cigarettes, and many toasts. The emcee gave out large stuffed animals if you came forward and sang songs Karaoke style. The bride and groom strolled around, visiting and toasting milk. She changed into a lovely red dress and off they went. We were invited back for the second version, the dinner wedding but we made excuses and left for home.

A toast to the bride and groom, no more loneliness.

My life in China has been a real awakening for me. Watching people go about their everyday lives, seeing unusual sites as I walk, writing my “Eat, Pray, Teach” blog and getting the nicest responses back has been the real treasures for me.

Yesterday I decided it was time for a trip across town on my bike to my colleague Jonathan’s home. Half way I stopped at the fabric shop and picked up my finished Chinese black silk shirt from the tailor. He was busily fitting a New Yorker for a suit. The man was with three large very robust American women. They were being fitted for giant tailored shirts! I decided to have another blouse made out of a blue/green silken fabric. This would be something breezy and carefree created in my favorite colors. The New Yorkers were traveling with a group of upstate NY students. What fun they were having, shopping and seeing the sites of China. I walked out of the fabric store to my bike. There a patrol woman proceeded to chew me out for locking my bike to the no parking sign. She started to write some kind of blue ticket with those obsessive red stamps on it. I just smiled, unlocked the bike and waved at her. She gave up writing the ticket, smiled back and let me go.

Down Zhoungshan Bei Lu and a left at Gulin circle and it looks like I am going north. Three blocks later I realize I am lost, and instead of getting anxious, I made a right and rode on. I have a good sence of direction and after a few more turns, riding by the city wall, under the great arch and past the temple I am back to the correct road. Another ten minutes and I see a fair skin young Brit waving at me in a sea of brown Chinese! Jonathan lives in a very typical six flight walk up, with a tiny galley kitchen, nice size living area and two bedrooms with a balcony. Leiwi, his wife is in northern China with her family. Her dad had cancer surgery and is in recovery. They used all their savings to pay the expenses of the surgery for her dad. Jonathan doesn’t mind he loves his wife and her family. What admiration I have for this wonderful young man.

A stir-fried vegan lunch, oolong tea and jazz music, is such a treat. After lunch I biked past a vegetarian shop, much like a tiny whole foods. I bought vegan meat balls, chicken, sausage and sauces. Riding back, dodging pot holes, motorcycles, strolling couples, taxi’s and crazy drivers, I realized how much fun I was having all on my own. Lastly, it was nice to walk into my apartment and realize “I am home.”

Home is where your heart is. You can live anywhere, but until you create a home, the feeling you belong, you are only in a house.

To the many of you that write me privately and express your optimism about my soul mate search -Connie in Allen, Chris in Austin, Wes my high school classmate who I have reconnected with, Sarah in Sacramento, Ross my friend in Austrialia–thank you. Your letters are read and very much appreciated. You are helping me see from a variety of perspectives, how my healing process is developing.