My friend Jennifer asked me about my year in China over a cup of latte and a pumpkin scone at Starbucks today. Her curiosity centered around how I managed after the death of a son and a divorce? She concluded I was catapulted out of a sad situation and into something entirely new, how did I succeed despite the difficulty? The change allowed me to remove myself out of my present life and recreate a new one. Basically I learned how to survive in a foreign land. Working on survival you forget your sadness. I recall a comment Norman told me about his mom upon her dying. (from “Norman’s Mom June” a recent blog) “Losing a child can destroy you or make you compassionate of others.”
Sadness is around us all, how we deal with it is what makes us stronger. I can choose to be sad or happy. It is like sinking or swimming, what are you going to do? Drown in misery, I think not. My answer is swim to the light. It is a metaphor for viewing my life. Is your cup half full or half empty? What is your life about? Down the road, when you recall your life what will you remember?
This month in America has allowed me to take what I learned last year and assess it here. I found who helped me “see the light” and those folks I want more of. I have also seen those who would like to drown me, and I don’t want to swim around them. I have learned who is my family and who is not. I may have been a “pleaser” like Jennifer, as she describes herself during our conversation about our personality types. The one thing I have learned is some people you can never please and some will never please you. Just dump them! Life is just to short to be miserable or all wrapped up in drama.
Dallas is a hard place to live if you are an authentic person. I grew up in Plano and finding real people who care and understand you is rare. A stereotypical place of wealth, trying to have more and being better than others is what this area of Texas alludes. I no longer want to live here and my adventures in China opened doors that I could have never imagined. I am looking forward to another year in China and deciding where I want to swim the following year!