Winter should be ending soon. Life is like seasons, hardest time is always during the winter. Then spring appears and life is lighter, sunnier and easier. I am eager for spring, a long sunny day, beautiful clear skies, flowers in bloom, and the smell of new growth. It is time for a fresh start. When Andy died and my whole life came tumbling down into one horrible heap, I realized this span in China has been a season of healing. It is a time to see, to ponder life and understand it’s meaning. I’ve spent a duration in this chair typing on my laptop and looking out my Chinese apartment window more than anything I have ever done in years. I see the pagoda, it is like a beacon in time for me portending my life. I find I not only write about it, draw it but have dreams about it.

The other night I awoke from a strange dream of the pagoda in a whirl of misty foggy clouds, like an old black and white movie. At the bottom step was a pair of feet standing in black shoes, just waiting. It was vague as the clouds covered the man and all I saw were shoes. I woke up smiling. Tell me the psychological meaning? Where is the dream book when you need it? It is locked in a cardboard box in a storage unit in America. I keep thinking maybe I ought to take a trip to the pagoda and look for that guy…but I think it is a metaphor for my life.

Looking forward to finding the person standing in black shoes. Life is such a mystery.