Category Archives: philosophy

The philosophy of painting a life story.

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Past thoughts are like a work of art.   It is already painted, hung on the wall and viewed.  Our thoughts should be like this.  Already did that,  finished and moving on.  A painter knows it is difficult to go back and rework a painting.  Typically, once you finish and return to paint you have lost the “zone” you were in at the moment you were painting.  The likelihood of getting it back is slim.  When recalling thoughts of past love, loss,  and sad times, it is best to observe them like a painting.  Frame it and hang it.  Reworking those times in your head, honestly it just doesn’t work.  The painting is finished, like the past life experiences.

From my artist view point,  it’s time to move on and paint something new and fresh.  How about you?  Are you still reworking life’s tragedies?  Well stop it!   Today create a new composition.  You may not be an artist but you can create a new life story.

Saturday morning I became a student of a 16 year old who has five years of Chinese traditional painting under his belt.  I pulled out my new bamboo brush dipped it in ink and started painting.  He stopped me!  The line must show more emotion from thick to thin in the blades of grass.  I should paint with more feeling.  He would correct my fingers and the way I held the brush many times.  He was so patient and constantly showed me how to paint leaves.  He has practiced the art of painting leaves for a year and I thought I could pick it up in a day.  NO way.  There is a specific way to create each part of nature according to my young Chinese teacher.  I would watch him paint.  Then I would copy his strokes.  I quickly forgot and couldn’t do it again to save my soul.  He never laughed just keep showing me again and again.  Is this what I need in my story of life, someone to show me again and again how to do it right?  I am beginning to wonder.

Is life a painting?  Think about that just a moment.  If  life is a painting, what does your’s look like?  Is it beautifully executed  or retouched and muddy.   Have you hung it on the wall or do you rework it over and over?  Today lets stop reworking our paintings, lets create a new one to hang on the wall?  You need some new supplies or new thoughts.  For me I bought all new supplies in a shopping trip to “Fu Zi Meow” or Confucius Temple shopping mall.  New bamboo brush, ink, felt pad, paper, and a couple of  “how to”  books in Chinese.  Fresh start.  New supplies are like new thoughts.  What do you want to paint?  I want to paint a mountain with misty clouds… but first I need to learn grass, rocks, leaves and flowers.   This is the start of my creation, a thought provoking mountain landscape.  Must learn the parts to create the whole composition according to my young teacher.  Like life, get all the pieces in order to create a great life painting.

Pieces?  What are your pieces?  Think for a moment, all the sweet things in your life.  Do you need to thank someone for something they did for you?  Maybe a child cut their finger and you were able to offer a band-aide and compassion to heal their wound and dry a tear.  Have you talked to your child today?  No!  My suggestion is call them and say “I love you”  for no reason.  Write them an email or text them a nice message.  Know an old person that is lonely, then go visit them?  Don’t know an old person, then call your grandmother and say hi.  You can smile at someone when your walking down the street.  Take someone to lunch and pay for it.  See someone on the street begging for money, then give them a coin or two.   Your painting becomes a compassionate one, one with tender feelings and love.  Every minute you are painting a life story, make yours beautiful, full of wonderful emotions and lovely memories.

Remember you can’t go back and rework it or you will muddy it up.

Start creating your story of life.  Reflect and step back, look at it and admire the effort you spent on it.  You might want to do this every evening just before you fall sleep, recall all the events of the day and say, “What a nice composition I created.”  Then fall asleep, and awake to a new day and start your new work of art.

What are you creating?  Hit the reply button and tell me what it is you created today!

Being treated nicely. How to make it happen.

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“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Who wrote this?  This has been in our culture and taught to children for years.  I recall it on my 3rd grade wooden ruler inscribed “The Golden Rule.”   Any idea?  Think a moment.  Was it an American politician, president perhaps, maybe even Mark Twain.  Wrong, all wrong it was Confucius.  Didn’t know you had been taught the Chinese philosophy of Confucius since you were a child?  You have an international perspective, yes?  This is a wonderful belief, but do you practice it?

Let’s think about it, how is it you want to be treated?  Do you like others to open doors for you, not talk back to you or maybe just not raise their voice?  You could make a list of actions on the way you wish to be treated.  This would give you a picture on the things you need to work on.   What is your major one belief?  Ask yourself, “I want people to treat me ___________.”  Fill in the blank.   My personal belief is:  I like people to look me in the eye and speak honestly to me.  What did you decide your need is?

Now lets put this into action.  For you to recieve this treatment, you would need to do the same to others, correct?  For me I want others to be honest so I would look you in the eye and speak honestly to you.  This can be a disaster if I get too honest in my actions!  Therefore I am learning to watch my honest comments.  Being honest can actually hurt feelings. So I work daily on this along with other attitudes I value.   I think expectations are important here. What is it you expect from others?   This is a life long commitment you make to yourself, to treat others as if they were you.  Many of our great masters did this, not just Confucius (500 BC), but Jesus, Buddha and Mohammad. (It is in Matthew 7.12).  Maybe Jesus studied Asian philosophizes too.

Think about the next time some one cuts in front of you in traffic, instead of yelling at them, think he’s in a hurry he needs to get in front of me.  He could be hurrying to pick up his child, let him go and bless him.  Maybe he’s not, but bless him anyway.  What would it hurt to bless someone who is miserable?  Nothing, you just sent some sweet energy to someone who probably needs it.  Do it more often and you will find you are happier and more content with yourself.  Maybe next time you cut in front of someone, you look up apologize with a wave, they smile back and let you in.  It happens, good things really happen.  (By the way I miss driving my car in China, so do an extra wave for me when you are out driving and get stuck in traffic!)  That would be a happy thought you could send me.  Sweet energy everywhere.

Today work on treating others nicely, or as Confucius would say create a more “benevolent society,” one of his favorite set of words.

Happiness, it is a state of mind. You can create it.

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How happy are you?  Think about this a moment.  If you could rate your happiness on a scale of 1 to 10 and 10 being no problems, no regrets only pure happiness, like when you were a child and nothing bothered you, total bliss, and happiness. Try remembering that moment?  Do you have your number?  Is it a 10?  Ok how about a 9?  Maybe you’re not real happy and it is a 5 or 6.  Did you know happiness is just a “state of mind?”  And you can be happy by thinking happy thoughts?  Believe me it is possible.  I should know I am one who has had many heartaches and had to live through quite a lot of sadness.  So today I am going to teach you how to be happy.  What do you think about that? An art teacher, teaching happiness?

So what have you been thinking about in the last few minutes? Are you thinking about work, other people, colleagues, spouses, children or are you just stressed from the daily grind?  Why in the world did you click my blog?  I’ll tell you, you want a break from reality.  Today I am explaining happiness and how to achieve it.  So lets start with removing these draining thoughts from our heads and thinking about something uplifting and happy.   This can be hard to do but first I want you to think about what really makes you happy.  Can you visualize it, create a picture in your head?  Do this now.  Ok you have a happy thought, a place, a thing  or an event that is absolutely fabulous?  Now, what you have to do is remember this one thought and when you find yourself in the muck of misery just return to this happy thought.  If you can concentrate on a happy thought and hold it long enough it will actually pull you out of those miserable places your mind takes you.  It is all in your mind.  Quit being sad and miserable, it is only a thought away and that simple.  You just have to believe it.  So if you need some happy visuals here are some I like.  Use mine and attract happiness to you.

Tian Qi Shan–Do you have a picture of heaven?

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Describe heaven?  What do you think it looks like?  The mountain I climbed in Tonglu was called Tian Qi Shan, meaning Heaven Place Mountain!  The misty fog was heavy Sunday morning when started our climb, all 200 teachers, children and spouses!  It was like a sidewalk up the hill with steps and stops to have tea, look at coy fish, run through the bamboo forest, take pictures of children and adults acting like children.

Heaven do you picture it in the clouds, well then I was there.  The light poured through like shimmering crystals onto the sparkling river flowing in and about the mountains.  The light bounced and played on the tall grasses growing out of the cliffs.  Amazingly beautiful.  The Chinese ink watercolor landscapes I had seen over the years had clouds weaving in and out of the pictures, little did I know today I would see the inspiration for these paintings.  I took picture after picture trying to savor the moment, research for future paintings.

Today I read up on ink paintings.  One artist described the paintings as having a life of their own.  He was commissioned to paint four dragons and did, but left their eyes off.  The buyers wanted to know why.  The artist said if he painted the eyes it would come alive.  The buyer persisted and the artist painted two sets of eyes on his finished dragons and to the buyers surprise the dragons came alive and jumped off the paper.   The artist refused to add eyes to the other two dragons and the painting is as it was, two dragons no eyes.  An artist that can create the moment, the feeling, the life he feels can make the viewer feel that same moment in time.  Today I will paint a landscape of heaven, the heaven I saw in the mountains.  Probably no dragons though.  They might come alive and mess up my apartment!

Shanghai– Jade Temple

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Shanghai is quickly accessible by the bullet train.  I was up early and in Shanghai by 9 am.  This was one of the best train rides ever, so smooth.  I remember riding the Santa Fe train between Dallas and Ponca City, Oklahoma as a child with my cousin Mary, my grandpa and grandma.  Back then the porters were African-American, this time Chinese stewardesses in purple outfits with cocked hats were our porters.   My new traveling friend Daisy made all the arrangements with her Shanghai friends showing us around.  What a delightful treat.

The view from the train was dank in color, mostly white, gray, beige and brick red.  Many factories with smoking chimneys dotted the landscape.  When there wasn’t a factory, I could see farmland in checkered squares of green.  All the land was in use, with apartment high rises filling in the gaps.

First stop the French Quarter, here the architecture was similar to the Louisiana French Quarter with a Chinese flair.  Then on to the art market, in a sectioned off alley way.  This was were I found my red bean in the “Love of my Life” blog. (If you haven’t read it, go read it!  It is short and terribly funny!) I also saw some nice art prints, mass produced acrylics and lots of fun cheap trinkets.  The alleys in the rain were more fun to photograph than shopping.  I took some artsy pictures.

Another taxi and to the Buddhist Jade Temple.  By now the rain is coming down in buckets so we eat in the vegetarian restruant located upstairs in the temple.  Daisy and Hazel, my Chinese friends had never eaten vegetarian mock meats so this was something new for them.  After dinner we walked through the temple eying all the Buddhas jade, gold and human.  I told the girls the story of the “Happy Buddha.”  The origin of my happy Buddha story is from being awakened in January 2010 by a ghost visit from Andy, my son who the previous October died from cancer.  He was in a long black rain coat, which I thought was odd but when you are asleep anything happens.  I got up and went to the kitchen to write this story down.   He told me in heaven there are many rooms and the one he was most excited about visiting was the “Room of Happy Thoughts.”  In this room he said all our happy thoughts are collected.  When we die we can visit this room and see all our happy memories from our life.  He said my room and his were full of happy thoughts.  He told me to make a happy thought and it would appear right before him.  At 2 am I had no happy thoughts.  He kept persuading me to think.  Sitting at the kitchen table, I looked toward the lazy Susan where the salt and pepper shakers are sitting.  Next to them was a tiny happy Buddha figurine I had bought at the Crow Asian Museum in Dallas.  I held it in my hand and said “Andy, look a happy Buddha, that’s a happy thought!”  Then without realizing it I visualized it to eight feet tall in my head.  Then I heard Andy, yell in my head, “You just scared the shit out of me!”  There is a happy thought –giving Andy a fright.  I think I am still laughing about this.  My room of happy thoughts is full of happy Buddhas!

As we walked up a flight of stairs to see the Jade Buddha, which I wasn’t allowed to photograph, we came to a wooden Buddha relic.  It was full of coins.  The idea is to insert a coin somewhere in the relic without it falling out and you will be prosperous.  The three of us did this and my coin is next to a “Happy Buddha.”

The Jade Buddha was in a lavish room and roped off.  As I stood there looking at it, I noticed two women ask the guard for a bottle of yellow colored oil and then payed for it.  They held the twelve ounce bottle between their hands in prayer fashion and said a silent prayer.  When they were finished the guard came and took the oil, walked to the alter, opened the bottle and poured it into a bowl with a burning flame.  The prayer was now in the oil and would be carried up to the flame and away in the smoke to the great Buddhas in the ethers.  It was a lovely way to pray.

Next we went to the Bund which is a walkway along the river.  I couldn’t believe how beautiful the lights decorated the buildings.  (Images that could be oil painted by G. Harvey)  We walked with our umbrellas up to a shopping mall that resembles old Chinese architecture.  Rain soaked we taxied back to the hotel and tumbled in bed.  Tomorrow the world expo.

The Love of my Life

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October 25, 2010

The art market shop I found in a Shanghai alley had a curious bowl of beans.  The first bean I picked up was a nice  big red bean.  It had a set of Chinese characters on one side and on the flip side was an outlined image of a couple.  I turned to my friend Daisy and said what does this say.  She smiled and said “the love of my life!’  Well now, can I plant this bean and grow the love of my life?  The shop owner, Daisy and I decided why not!   Five yuan and I will grow a man!  Maybe I will have better luck with a bean.

Those of you that know me and my love history will know it is not a pretty picture.  The loves in my life include three failed marriages and one failed engagement.  Of these four men, three were addictive personalities whose love in their life was booze and not me.

My bean did not come with instructions, but I imagine this is what I will do to cultivate a good man.

“Do not water with alcohol or fertilize with bull shit!”

The Story of the Clanging Heart

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Story of the Clanging Heart

October 13, 2010

There was a large space.   Within the space were numerous small puffy cherry colored hearts.  They were nestled next to each other shoulder overlapping shoulder.  They sang a tune.  It sounded like hum hum hum.  They were identical, except for one.  This one jumped up and ever so often made a noise of a clang.  The one that jumped up never was able to cozy up with the others and began to feel different and left out, although he looked the same.  It seems he needed to jump and ring out.

Then one day all the hearts turned over.  In the process the hearts turned over on top of the special one.  He was now underneath all the hearts and couldn’t jump up.  He listened to the hum, hum, hum.  It was nice.  He tried the tune, and his sound was ah, ah, ah.  He felt all the hearts touch him.  Shoulders were comforting him, this was different.  He slowly became one with the cluster.

Another day came.  The hearts rolled over.  The special one was no longer small and puffy.  He was much larger than the rest and flat like a heart shaped pancake.  Hearts were on top of him.  The tiny hearts were jumping up, this time they landed on him.  He was so large that he felt many hearts leaping and singing.  They were like him long ago.  His song hummed. They were the same but different.

The moral of the story:   Life, we are all one in the same jumping and clanging to our own beat.

Are you wondering where this came from?  I woke up at 4 am and this was in my head.  I could illustrate it.  Am I reading too much Confucius and becoming a philosopher?   Do I need a softer bed?

Pondering the past, the gift is the present

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October 1, 2010

I wonder does he ever think about me, worry about my welfare, wish he was here with me, why did he do what he did to cause all this?  I don’t know.  He is so far from me now, in another world and I ponder over these things on occasion.  Do I hear from him?  Some.  It’s just a facade;  he never opens the door, walks in, sits down and talks one to one.  Did he ever really talk to me?  I don’t remember.  It is all a haze now like my morning view of the city.  I see the buildings but I don’t know what they are, like him.  Who was this man beyond the exterior?  I have learned the “one thing” is living your life in the moment.  I am stuck in the past, thinking like this.  It’s over, move on I tell myself, live life today, the present.  Someone said the present is a gift.  Looking out my window I see my gift a vast life to explore.  I see a five story pagoda on a little hill it keeps calling me to come visit.  A tear trickles down my eye.  Today I miss what I didn’t have with you.  It was a beautiful dream which floated away in a cloud.

A hot cup of honeysuckle tea, music drifting from my downstairs stereo with songs about the story of her life sounds like mine.  Alice gave me this CD by Deana Carter.  I enjoy the Sheryl Crow like melody.  It gives me a lift, makes me smile.  Alice and Sawyer will be coming by in an hour.  They are going to help me translate the Chinese characters on my TV remotes.  They are the best adopted Chinese children a mom could ask for.  They take care of me, like Sam, Casey, Randy and Andy do.  They fix things I can’t.  Sawyer gave me a T-shirt yesterday with a guy fishing in a boat with sharks swimming around.  “Big fish?” and “Exploring Unknown Worlds” are printed on it.  Sawyer likes fish, like my boys so this is something he got just for me and in blue, my favorite color.  Love, you find it everywhere, just look.   The gifts of the present and living life in the moment are my treasure.

A lesson in math for Texas 5th graders!

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Nan Shu Foo Zong is the name of the school I teach at.  This is the IB area.  The hallways are open air and we are up 100 stairs!  No elevator.

My colleagues at their desks working, or napping.  Lunch is one and half hours, so a “siesta” is accepted at lunch time.  My Tex-Mex language seems to pop up when I am trying to speak in Chinese.  the other day I asked for water and said “Agua Por favor!”  and someone commented was that a dialect of English, yeah if you are in Texas!  No it is Spanish and I am speaking it here and no one understands Spanish, nor my choppy Chinese.

My desk is right behind Peter, my Aussie colleague.  Looking out the window from our office you can see a wonderful highrise, that is my apartment complex.  I will be moving soon, this makes me very excited.  It will be a short walk to and from  school, no more taxi’s and city buses to school.  It will cut down on expense, the bus is 2 RMB and taxi is 14RMB.  How much is that in dollars?   A lesson on money:

The yuan (sign: 元; code: CNY) is, in the Chinese language, the base unit of a number of modern Chinese currencies. The distinction between yuan and renminbi (RMB) is analogous to that between the pound and sterling; the pound (yuan) is the unit of account while sterling (renminbi) is the actual currency.

A yuán (元) is also known colloquially as a kuài (块 – “piece”). One yuán is divided into 10 jiǎo (角) or colloquially máo (毛 – “feather”). One jiǎois divided into 10 fēn (分).

This is what I had in my purse.  If 6.7 yuan = 1 US dollars.  Can some one tell me how much yuan I have?  The large coins are 1 yuan each, the gold is .5 yuan and the tiny coin is .10 yuan.  IF you can add it up correctly I will send you a Chinese post card!  Why am I giving you a math lesson, because my friend Linda in Friendswood told me she has given my blog site to her friend who teaches 5th grade.  These students are reading my blog and learning about the culture for their English class.  I thought to keep them interested I would do some teaching from across the world to them!

Yesterday I taught the Chinese IB faculty about my life through a power point presentation.  I gave a show about my family, Thanksgiving and how we pray and eat, Christmas, a craw fish boil in Austin, going on vacation to Taos and the Native American Pueblo, Tahoe, Galveston, Wimberly, San Fransisco, and Durango.  I had pictures of pets, snow, my backyard and art studio.  Many of this was very foreign to my new colleagues.  The comments that I received in my email from the TOK teacher are this:

Susan,

Thanks a lot for the presentation, nice. What I found most amazing is :

1.  the muddy houses    very very simlar to the ones where people in Shan Xi province used to live. The only difference is ours are cave-like houses. But mud.

2. the claw fish   that’s almost the answer why you like Nanjing without knowing it. People in Nanjing are crazy about claw fish and it’s almost a scence in summer.
One table with a big bowl of claw fish, some people sitting around the table…

3. Budda

I can’t believe it.

One thing I am learning is we are all the same, but different.  The next thing I am learning is a good teacher is always a student.  This student (art teacher) is learning more than her little Rolodex brain can hold.  I feel like it is spinning and information cards are flying out.  Anyone still have a Rolodex?  Does this tell how old I am or just that I have an antique vocabulary.

Speaking of antiques, I made mention to Jonathan (British colleague that has lived here six years) I can’t find very many old architectural buildings or antiques shops.  He told me the Chinese government had the people destroy all the old artifacts years ago and much of the old architecture is destroyed for newer buildings.  I’ve seen more Asian jade art in the Crow Museum in Dallas than I have found here.  I will keep looking, it has to be here.  Religion is non existent.  I have seen the Buddhist temple, no Buddhist tho and one Catholic church.  In Texas there is a Baptist church on every corner like McDonald’s!  My new Chinese friends don’t practice religion, that I can tell.  School will meet this and next Sunday for regular classes. (Remember we have a funky holiday next week and we work weekends for the weekdays off)  I will have to Google my church in Dallas to read what is going on, and listen to the podcast to get my religion fix or go to the Buddhist temple and light incense and say a prayer.  That is a nice way to pray.  I will let the wind carry my prayers in the smoke from my incense to God.  Like I said all the same, but different.