My ritual cup of coffee in hand, it is a rainy morning, yet I hear someone mowing. Why would you mow in the rain? The noise is disrupting the solitude as I contemplate on decisions to make, places to live and a call that could change my life the very second I receive it.

Good health is one thing I have been fortunate to have. A vegetarian of nearly 20 years, non-smoker and non-drinker, I seem to have the spunk of a 19 year old. The last couple of days I have noticed a lump on my throat and strong pulsations, both which are growing. After consulting with two doctors and an ultrasound, I am waiting on a call from Dr. Ben to explain what is happening with me.

Once again I am sitting on hold in a “gap” of time where you “don’t know what you don’t know.” Without medical knowledge, remaining calm is unsettling. I tell myself it is probably nothing, but with my imagination I can conjure up many scenarios.

Life is always throwing you curve balls. I am looking for places to live, deciding on jobs, and trying to fit back into the “American way of life!” The fast pace is wearing me out. Waiting on this call, I feel stressed and anxious. Being on my own and having medical issues is not what I expected for myself. There is no one to turn to, for help, advice or a shoulder to lay your head on. It is just one of those mornings. I need another cup of coffee. Is it going to storm, clear up and be sunny? It is time to watch the weather station and see how the day plays out.